CONNECT GROUP LEADERS
Connect groups play a vital role in the life of the church; they provide family and fellowship (connection with each other) and an opportunity to grow in our faith. (connection with God).
Please find information on the following below:
Discipleship and study resources
Click here for a list of study books or DVDs that we have available for you to borrow to use with your group. You will find these on a shelf on your right as you enter through the wooden doors behind the chapel. Please write what you have borrowed in the record book and tick when you have returned it.
Click here for links to online resources you may find helpful.
Tips for leading a Bible study
1. Remember the key element of your role is to help people consider how they can apply God’s word to their life.
2. There is no need to include teaching but if you do, limit ‘teaching time’ on the passage or topic so that there is plenty of time for the group to discuss and explore it together.
3. If using a study resource, check or adapt it to make it appropriate for your group. Don’t feel you must follow it completely. Pick out the most relevant bits that will fit into the time available.
4. Plan in advance as much as possible. While it is okay to turn up and do something together, if possible read or watch what you will be using in advance so that you can pre-empt any issues or questions and so that you can select the most useful areas to cover together.
5. Avoid questions that feel like a school comprehension test but select questions that help people consider the ‘whys’ and also what their response is to what they have heard/read. What feelings does it leave us with? What encouragement or challenge does it bring?
6. Working through a book of the bible together without notes is fine. You could use the Lectio Divina method or use the same questions each week (such as what seems to be the main point of this passage and what does it say to us today? Can you link anything from this passage to your own life? Is there anything in this passage that helps us better understand the character of God and if so how do we relate to that aspect of his character?)
7. Allow people time to think and respond. Thank people for their comments. Be an active listener. Consider summarising what someone has said in a sentence or two.
8. If someone shares a perspective and you think they have misunderstood something fundamental to the passage be gentle in your response. There will be a reason why they have read it that way. Be understanding that they view it that way and gently explain why you see it differently.
9. Facilitate a time of response. Invite people to pray aloud on the back of the discussion or give them a moment to respond to God in silence. Alternatively allow time for people to pray for each other or draw everyone’s thoughts together in a closing prayer.
Principles for establishing a healthy group
Every group is different and unique which is good. However, over time tricky dynamics can sometimes form so it is important to do as much as you can as a leader to foster a healthy group.
1. Pray for your group and it’s members.
2. Encourage members to be involved.
As much as possible share the role leading sessions, finding or choosing resources, hosting and organising practical support for each other when appropriate. Having said this, do be sensitive and wise. We want to encourage and release people to be active members of the group and develop their own gifts, but it is not loving and rarely helpful to pressure people or ‘guilt people’ into doing things.
3. Invite group members to church events.
Encourage your group to be active members of the church by highlighting special services, events or meetings. St Stephens is a large church and it can take time to build friendships. As a leader be present at Sunday services as much as possible and look out for your group members when you are there. Encourage group members to also look out for each other while being aware of the part they have to play in the St Stephens family by welcoming visitors and newcomers.
4. Create a welcoming environment.
If you have a new member introduce them to other members, make sure they are linked into all forms of communication. Whether it’s through a termly programme, emails or whatsapp make sure group members know when and where you’re meeting and have an idea what to expect.
5. Make the group a safe place to share.
Remind members that what is shared in the group stays in the group (with the exception of a safeguarding concern).
6. Encourage respect.
We want our connect groups to be a place where people can share views without fear of judgement. It’s okay for people to disagree but God calls us to love our brothers and sisters which means if we disagree, we must disagree well and be mindful of the words we use or the manner in which we express ourselves.
7. Discourage gossip.
How should I care for my group members?
Ideally groups will be a place of mutual support and care between members but as connect group leader we hope that you see pastoral care of your members as part of your role.
Following up on things that people have shared and offering to pray for people is a part of this. You may at times organise a card for members who have an occasion to celebrate or are going through a challenging time such as an operation or bereavement. You may want to organise meals for someone who has just had a baby or been unwell.
Whatever patterns of care you establish in your group try to make sure they are consistent, so members don’t feel like there are ‘favourites’.
It is important to recognise that there will be situations in people’s lives that require more support than you are able to give as a group leader.
If you feel someone needs support beyond what you can offer please contact the church office or vicar to share your concern and ask for advice.
Your safeguarding training should also equip you to know what to do if you have a safeguarding concern.
Concerns about safeguarding, abuse and domestic abuse
Other options for sign posting are listed below. Please also be familiar with our church safeguarding information and advice which you can find here. Or for any challenges associated with parenting, children and young people please contact our youth and children’s pastor Rachael Hosier (via the Church Office), who has knowledge of various support resources and organisations.
Acts 435 is a giving website that allows people to give money directly to others. If someone in hardship needs help with a single one-off item contact Mark Barker via the church office.
Providing support with bereavement.
Providing a safe, confidential and supportive environment for people impacted by cancer. Babons can also be found at St Stephen’s on a Tuesday morning as part of Living Well.
Helping you find a way forward, whatever the problem. Tonbridge Citizens Advice can also be found at St Stephen’s on a Tuesday morning as part of Living Well.
For debt advice and budgeting. Crosslight can also be found at St Stephen’s on a Tuesday morning as part of Living Well.
A West Kent charity supporting men and women experiencing domestic abuse.
Tonbridge Counselling Service and Sevenoaks Christian Counselling and Crossline Christian Counselling, Maidstone
Providing professional and affordable counselling in the local area
As a group leader how can I help strengthen our church connect group system?
There are several things you can do as a connect group leader that will significantly help us as a whole church establish a strong connect group system.
1. Record who comes each week
(not during the meeting like a register, but afterwards on ChurchSuite).
This is not about us being ‘big brother’ or judging people on how often they come, but so that we can see patterns. This informs you and the leadership team to think about how we support or resource individuals and groups.
2. Keep an up-to-date list of who is in your group.
If someone is no longer attending your group, it is helpful for the leadership team to know that, otherwise we may assume someone has regular and fellowship and support when they don’t. Likewise, if someone joins your group let the church office know so we can be encouraged by how groups are growing and expanding.
3. Keep in touch with the church leadership.
It’s helpful to know how you’re doing both as a group and personally as a leader. We may ask to visit your group from time to time or arrange to meet and catch up with how you are. This helps us to support you and resource you and helps us know if your group would be a good fit for those who ask us to find them a group to join. We will also send you suggestions of resources to use with your group. It’s helpful to receive feedback on resources we suggest.
4. Keep up to date with safeguarding training.
As connect group leaders you are required to keep up to date with your safeguarding training. The church office will contact you when it’s due for renewal. If you could respond by completing any updates as soon as possible that would be hugely helpful as chasing people to complete training drains time and resources that could be invested elsewhere.
5. Share resources.
If you discover a good resource, let us know so we can share it with others. Previously used study books could also be added to our study guide library.
6. Look for leadership potential in others
(see ‘raising new leaders’).
Raising new leaders. What part can I play?
As new people join the church, we would like to be in a position of always having groups to offer. For this reason, we need to continue to grow new leaders so that when others need to step down there are new people willing to take on this important ministry.
While the church leadership will seek to recruit and train new leaders, our current leaders have a vital role to play in this process. We have highlighted below some of the things you can do as leaders to help raise up additional leaders for future seasons.
1. Encourage group members to be ‘active’ in terms of leading sessions and pastoral care.
Identify and encourage those who show leadership potential.
2. Consider partnering with one or two others in your group to share leadership and pastoral care of the group.
Is there someone who will be your ‘second’? After a period of time might they consider being a joint leader with you?
3. If you’re group becomes large, consider whether you could divide into two groups and have a group member take on leadership.
This would create capacity for new people to join. Remember to chat this through with the church leadership so they are aware of the new group and so that the new group leader can be set up properly with necessary safeguarding.
4. If you are considering stepping down as a leader let the church leadership know as far in advance as possible.